Miscarriage? What next?
It’s not easy to erase the dreams of hugging an unborn child, And forget the colorful frocks, the cute shirts, or the mittens you had bought. Though it was all real, now it has just become a dream!
Pregnancy lost before 20 weeks is termed a miscarriage. Miscarriage is a very painful experience for expectant parents. The dream of having a child is shattered into a thousand pieces. It takes time to heal both physically and emotionally as the expectant parents would have planned and imagined so many things about their unborn baby. The grief and agony are beyond consolation. But remember miscarriage is not the end of life! There is hope. There are many couples who have wonderful families even after repeated miscarriages.
Coping with Miscarriage:
Grieving is completely normal:
It is essential to accept miscarriage and also realize that you are not alone in this painful journey of losing an unborn baby. To cry, to feel disappointed, and to be agitated is absolutely normal. Find your own ways to release your sorrow, pain, anguish, etc.
Talk to your spouse:
Feelings of guilt are very common after a miscarriage. Blaming one’s carelessness or fate is unnecessary. Share your feelings of pain and loss with your partner. Compassion and patient listening are what is needed from a husband. There are so many reasons that can cause a miscarriage. So, stop blaming yourself!
Join a Support Group:
Many online forums and communities offer support to couples who face miscarriages. This group can be the best place to vent out your feelings of pain and disappointment and also hear other people’s experiences about miscarriages and successful pregnancies later which can motivate and boost your confidence.
If you are unable to come out of the feeling of hopelessness and if it affects your everyday life, it is better to speak to a psychologist/therapist who can help you to overcome the grief through meditation or some other techniques.
Seek Fertility Assistance:
Miscarriages usually happen due to chromosomal abnormality. It is better to have a fertility checkup that can help in diagnosing the possible causes of miscarriage. You can also seek advice on when to try for conception again.
Miscarriage is the worst thing that can devastate you physically and mentally. But wait. Some things take time to come. Losing hope is not the solution but taking the right step in the right direction is what is needed.
Advanced maternal age, smoking, obesity, uncontrolled Diabetes, etc. are some of the major reasons that result in a miscarriage. As a woman’s age increases, the quality of her eggs deteriorates. Also, if you are trying to conceive after 35 and if you are undergoing an IVF treatment, tests like PGT (Preimplantation Genetic Testing) an advanced genetic testing can help in selecting healthy embryos thereby reducing the risk of miscarriage.
Pre-conception counseling/fertility evaluation can help you know where the problem exists and try to achieve a successful pregnancy the next time.
Sometimes the road toward parenthood may seem to be rough, but it doesn’t mean it’s a dead end! Don’t lose hope!